What do you get when you fall in love?

Ah you can’t beat a bit of Bacharach as Jim Bowen once drunkenly said. Poor Mr David, never got the recognition he deserved apart from in Kubrick’s 2001. Any idea what I’m on about? Well I have. I woke up with “I’ll never fall In Love Again” playing on my heads slightly broken juke box and you have to go a long way to get a rhyme as good as “What do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia. After you do, he’ll never phone ya. I’ll never fall in love again.”, pneumonia, phone ya, genius.

The fact that I mostly type this just after I’ve woken up could explain alot. The fact that the most played track on my broken head jukebox is Zoom by Fat Larry’s Band probably would be beyond the explaining of legions of scientists with particle accelerators the size of Australia.

OK two things for you to do, lets get interactive.

Firstly, someone tell me, did Dusty Springfield ever cover “I’ll never fall in love again”? I know it’s Dionne, but in my head it sounds like Dusty.

Secondly, now I’m curious. What songs play in your head the most whether you like it or not? Go on, use the comments bit and tell me. Someone else is paying you good money while you look at this so take your time.

Do they use the same alphabet in Dutch-land?

Yup, the sleeping things still going really well. Always good to use the sound of birds singing as your cue for bed time I find. Now who’s hidden the morning? I’m sure there was supposed to be one tagged to the beginning of today. In other news, I need to find new tenants for my house which means that I’ve got to go through agencies which means that I’ve got to get all the tarting up finished quicker. Ah well there was very little pressure anyway and I like a challenge although admittedly I prefer the “can you fit in another glass of red wine?” type of challenge rather than the “bet you can’t decorate an entire house by yourself in 10 minutes” type.

Also gotta find a home for my kitties. Anyone want 2 very affectionate and healthy cats? It’ll probably make it easier if I don’t mention that they were rescue cats which were owned by an old lady who died and was found a month later locked in her flat with 2 pretty full looking kitties… always make sure you feed them before going to sleep.

And now here’s Bob with the weather…

Into the sea…

Remarkable how rough 4 days of sleeping a lot, drinking heroic quantities and smoking for Jesus, can make you feel. Can I have a new body? This one hurts too much.

Leaving on a jet plane today back to a world of wall painting, carpeting (car petting? “Theres a good car. Car want a biscuit?”) and other such activities. After last night I have a new place to go to though which is cool. Djibouti at the beginning of next year… must get myself a map but I think its a right turn at Brighton and then straight on til morning.

A Tout A L’heure

Ahh speaking French for the first time in over a year hurts my head! As does trying to type on a French layout keyboard. Spent my first evening here in someones garage playing drums for a friends band. Haven°t drummed in anger for 3 years or more and getting back into it in 30 degree heat with a band that errs towards 20 minute versions of every song they play is an interesting way to get very dehydrated.

Other than that I have seen my sick friend which is why I°m really here and have drunk pastis and ice cold rosé wine to excess with other friends which is never bad.

And now I can speak French again. I think the secret is that they keep it in the bottles. They should hand it out at the airport then all the dodgy English tourists would be fluent.

You’re better than TV

So I’m typing crap into a computer when I should be doing something more useful. Emptying the washing machine and then packing to go to France tomorrow morning, oh actually this morning, spring to mind immediately as more productive uses of my time. But hey, the night is young and I am increasingly less so.

A night in a pub drinking shandy? That I should be reduced to this! Scandalous. One of the things that I long suspected was that working made me drink too much and in the last couple of months, excellently, my theory has been proved true. So there it is, official scientific proof that work is most definitely bad for you. Become unemployed. Your liver will love you for it and put you back on it’s Christmas card list and you’ll have more money in your pocket. When was the last time YOU had a Christmas card from your liver? I rest my case.

OK, on with domesticity…

Get your paws off me you damned dirty ape

It doesn’t take much to get my thoughts round to Planet of the Apes and today is no exception. This time it’s IKEA that did it. Or rather didn’t do it. Put handles in for my new kitchen that is. Oh anyway, god damn them all to hell.

As retribution for their crime, I’m buying my handles from Wickes. That’ll learn those Swedish flatpack making, salt licorice eating, Saab drivers. Oh Yes…

Maybe I should have got more sleep last night?

People are funneeee

This made me smile as the signature of someone I knows email…

“Bush/Cheney in ’04: Don’t change horsemen mid-apocalypse.”

Ouch Sunday morning and I was looking to get a non-builder-hassle lie-in… Too hot! Anyway today is paint buying day… Bring on the gallons of Magnolia and other things that are just off white really.

Do you remember the first time?

Ok, so here we have it, the beginning of this thingy that everyone says I should do (other than smoke less). Well I hope you’re happy. I told you it would be rubbish didn’t I? Well look, it’s rubbish. I’m aways right. I haven’t even gone anywhere yet, in fact I barely left the house today, which is not to say I left the house naked, oh no. Just that I am lazy.

So right… errr… did you see that monkey? I’ll go now